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令人捧腹的英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話(huà)
導(dǎo)語(yǔ)：愛(ài)笑的人，運(yùn)氣總不會(huì)太差，因?yàn)樾梢宰屓顺錆M(mǎn)正能量，更能讓自己面對(duì)挫折，勇往直前，這里YJBYS小編收集整理了令人捧腹的英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話(huà)，讓你爆笑每一天。
1、 話(huà)說(shuō)有一名英文不太好的男子，竟然泡上一名洋妞。
一天，情到濃時(shí)，該男子用不太好的英文對(duì)洋妞女友說(shuō):『I Love You!』
洋女聽(tīng)見(jiàn)大喜，說(shuō):『I Love You，too;
那名男子不明所以，竟說(shuō):『I Love You，three.....!
2、 "高中的時(shí)候
很多學(xué)校都有各種各樣的模擬考
有一個(gè)人
他的英語(yǔ)很爛很爛
一次英文模擬考
作文題目是“A Dog”
結(jié)果那個(gè)人就這樣寫(xiě)——
One day I see a dog.
I said""Hi!""
Dog said""Hi!""
I said""Can you speak Chinese?""
Dog said""Yes!""
I said""So,let""s speak Chinese!""
Dog said""O.K.""
......"
3、 "有一天,一個(gè)印地安小孩問(wèn)他爸爸說(shuō):""dad,我的名字怎么來(lái)的?""父親
回答說(shuō):""我們族人命名都是以小孩子剛出生時(shí),父親看到的第一見(jiàn)事物來(lái)命名的""像你哥哥,他剛出生時(shí),我一出門(mén)就見(jiàn)到了青山,所以他叫Blue-mountain像你姊姊,她剛出生時(shí),我一出門(mén)就見(jiàn)到鳥(niǎo)在飛,所以他叫Bird-flying.這就是我們族人命名的方式.
父親頓了一下,然後回過(guò)頭說(shuō):""對(duì)了,Dog-fucking,你剛剛問(wèn)我什么問(wèn)題?"""
4、 "One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin.
有個(gè)女孩向神父告解她所犯的罪………
Girl: Father, I have sinned.
女孩：神父，我有罪。
Preacher: What did you do, little girl?
神父：孩子，你犯了什麼罪呢?
Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a ""son of a Bitch.""
女孩：昨天，我罵了某個(gè)男人一句：「你這個(gè)狗娘養(yǎng)的9
......"
5、 "有一個(gè)男的十分愛(ài)他的女朋友 于是就把他女朋友的名字""WENDY"" 刻在他的""那話(huà)兒""上,于是當(dāng)""那話(huà) 兒""縮小時(shí)只看到縮寫(xiě)""WY"",有一次他和他的女朋友到夏威 夷去玩,他在上廁所時(shí)看到隔壁那 個(gè)外國(guó)人的""那話(huà)兒""也有""WY""字 樣,于是很興奮的問(wèn)那個(gè)外國(guó)人: ""你的女朋有也叫""WENDY""嗎? 外國(guó)人回答說(shuō):""NO,NO,我刻的是: ""WELCOME TO HAWAI AND ENJOY YOUR HOLODAY"""
6、 There was a farmer who raised watermelons. He was doing pretty well but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch(西瓜地)at night and eat his watermelons.
After some careful thought he comes up with a clever idea that he thinks will scare the kids away for sure. So he makes up a sign and posts it in the field.
......
7、 "Can you explain to me what the difference is between a high-pitched and low-pitched voice?
""A high-pitched voice is when my father scolds me;a low-pitched voice is when my father speaks with his boss."""
8、 A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite.
......
9、 "A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on the average only 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000 words a day.
She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.
......"
10、 "A man enters a restaurant, takes a seat, and, instead of using the napkin, takes the table cloth from the table and tucks it around his neck.
The head waiter sees it and tells the waiter to go and tell him, in a diplomatic way, that what he did was incorrect.
......"
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